Written by Ben Rosenthal

Blast Corps makes me cry.  Hell of a way to begin a review, I realise, but it’s a good cry mixed with a bad cry.  It’s a goad cry.  Good, as Blast Corps is one of the most mindlessly fun yet challenging games ever to be spewed forth from the mind of a mortal.  Bad as YOU probably don’t know anything about it.  Well sparky, thats are about to change (unless you stop reading this review right now.  Jerk).

The Hook

Ok, here’s the story.  There’s this truck.  It’s red.  On the back of this truck is a giant nuclear freaking warhead.  Not a problem I hear you think, it’s on a truck with a driver who is carefully driving it to safety.

WRONG!  There is no driver!  What would be the logical step?  Find a way to halt the truck to an easy stop?  Helicopter bomb experts onto the warhead to diffuse it?  Or hire a demolition team to use a wide array of vehicles to smash apart anything in the trucks way, so that it may continue on its merry un-detonating journey?  If you chose option three, you’ve got yourself a game.  If you chose option 2, you have been watching too many Kiefer Sutherland shows.

The History

Put together by some nobody party that no one has ever heard of called Rare, Blast Corps is a nostalgic trip back to the heydays of the NES (yay). The game puts players behind the controls of both current and futuristic destruction machinery, with the objective of clearing a path for an out-of-control nuclear missile carrier. Released to very little media hype on March 24, ‘97, Blast Corps quickly won the hearts of N64 owners by offering a well-rounded combination of destructive gameplay and intelligent puzzles, topped off with a rocking soundtrack and great, yet simplistic graphics.

The Good

You use robots and cars to smash things or else the world blows up.  What more do you need to know?

Blast Corps’s strength lies in its sheer gameplay variety. None of its eight vehicles on offer are alike.   However all do have one thing in common: a steep learning curve. Learning how to control the Backlash dump truck is one thing – mastering it is another story.

If you haven’t played Blast Corps in awhile, pick it up again and see if you can beat the Diamond Sands railroad tracks level without breaking a sweat. I get tense* just thinking of the alarm buzzer that sounds every time the missile carrier gets close to a building.  Add to that some of the best bonus levels around (the shuttle sequences were truly inspired) and you’ve got one of the most explosive action titles on the beloved N64.

Oh yeah – you also get a damage amount on the top right hand side of the screen every time you blow something up.  Awesome.

*aroused

The Bad

If you’re one of those freaks who plays a game until you have completed every single facet and corner of it – you may want to get a bigger snack pack, Porky.  Although not impossible (as I saw it be done) it will take you a loooong time to get platinum medals on every single stage.  That, and the alarm buzzing at you and the “Warning” sound effect will sh!t you.  A lot (Oh, what?  There’s a giant nuclear missile about to blow up?  Sorry, I was just having a snooze in this GIANT ROBOT!  Lucky you were here to yell annoyingly at me).

The Yeahbuhwha?

The weirdest, and therefore coolest part of this game – the bonus levels.  Without giving too much away – there’s a lot less gravity on the moon and Mars.  Oh yeah, you want to play it now, dontchya?

In Conclusion

Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game. Buy this game.

RATING: 4.75 NES Controllers/ 5 Possible NES controllers

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